I thank those who have stuck by me all these years, stepping in to another year of growth as I just celebrated a birthday with friends who didn’t give up on me. Although that sounds harsh and unfair to say about myself, everyone has their irritating traits. And each friend find different things about you irritating – so, I’m not saying I’m difficult or a handful, nor am I saying I’m not. I feel very blessed to have lost some friendships this past year.
I was saddened, and hurt by such events – they were close friends. The memories of and reasoning for the split still irks my heart, it still makes me pause whatever that I’m doing to feel it through before I can continue with the task on hand. I still think about it every other day. It doesn’t help that losing friendships in real life doesn’t mean “defriending” them on social media. Meaning, I still see all your photos on facebook and instagram, and I still see our mutual friends post about you(s). But as each day passes by, especially the days when I am reminded of us and all the wonderful things about what we had, and what I can never have with another friend – I feel stronger, more mature, I smile and I feel blessed. Blessed to have once known you, to once have experienced something so true. This was before things got messy and no one wanted to deal with it. It got even truer when things did get messy. Knowing these are all negative things that are happening and not knowing what to do to stop it – but we kept it real and true to ourselves - we let each other leave. This made me feel like such a grown up.
The obvious things I will say about losing these relationships (and just because they, to me, are more obvious reasons does not discredit them for these take up a majority of my appreciation/gratitude towards these life events) would be that they gave me the opportunity to reconnect and connect with old and new friends. It opened my eyes to see how adaptive I can be. It gave me a chance to change. Like a for real change.
I feel different, my interactions with every single person I know (honestly) are now different. Because I have changed.
Sure, I am still mad, upset, maybe a little bit sorry – but I’ll never tell you any of that. I will also never tell you that care and love will always be there even if I have lost opportunities to show it.
One of the last night’s of summer, we went to St. Catherines for the weekend to attend my friend’s engagement ceremony. Not only was it one of the only times we attend an event together it’s also one of the last times this year before he had to go to Budapest for school! Long distance from Canada to Hungary, 5 year long program, enough said?
I’m optimistic so far though because life brings challenges and this is an opportunity for both of is to grow as individuals. One of the biggest challenges for us so far and I’m not sure if we can handle it but one step at a time friends! Going to enjoy me some free time. ;)
A little place on the west end of town in Roncy. I don’t usually go this far west, although I do work right by here – but a few friends and I decided to try this place as we read some good ratings online. Overall I’d say their food is quite good 8/10 except for the lobster. It was on special called the Spicey Lobster, yes spelt spicey. Why I didn’t like it: if you’ve ordered a sweet and sour pork at any chinese restaurant in any city in any country… that’s basically what it tastes like except with some jalapeno peppers added. Needless to say we were a bit disappointed as the dish didn’t really excite our taste buds, there was no “new” factor. OH well!
Edit: One thing I felt important to mention thus made the effort to come back for an edit.. We went on a Friday night not sure if this is the reason why but – you should allot at least 2 hours for dinner, 3 if you didn’t make reservations. Dishes come out one by one, at least 20 to 30 minutes intervals. Just saying :)
Seafood meal paired with a chardonnay this evening: